HECK YEAH! Five ways it fricken gets better!

SpongeBob, by Shelley Panzarella

Lego SpongeBob, by Shelley Panzarella

Recently, Cracked magazine published an article entitled 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better. This article was no doubt in response to the popularity of the It Gets Better Project and their fine work on behalf of bullied LGBT kids.

The trouble with the Cracked article, which otherwise brings up good points, is that it contains so much profanity that it’s not appropriate for anyone under 21, basically. So even though the author says it’s for bullied kids, it isn’t. It’s for Cracked readers to get a laugh, and no use pretending otherwise.

I might also add that, although the IGBP claims to champion all bullied kids, that’s not a job that can be handled by one organization, however large their chorus. They need more voices than can be collected in their admirable video files.

So it falls to me to pitch in for bullied kids and teens with some more of the truth – and tell it in appropriate language. Here are five ways life fricken does get better.

  1. Your preferences change
    • You’ll stop spending money on Tiger Beat and spend it on Entertainment Weekly instead.
    • You’ll replace the time you spent being bullied with chances to see a new movie, or try a new book or a new band or a new restaurant. Discovery!
    • You’ll replace SpongeBob (though this Lego version is pretty cool) with something that people may actually want to talk about later.
  2. Your acquaintances change
    • The older you get, the fewer of your friends like Justin Bieber.
    • When you get out of high school and into college, the pecking order starts over – the ones who WERE on the top ain’t no more!
    • Speaking of high school, you do NOT have to attend reunions. Let someone else get deluded into thinking those were the best times of their lives.
    • You’ll begin to find friends who like you for who you are and not for who else likes you.
  3. Your priorities change
    • In college, you’ll find yourself doing homework instead of talking yourself out of doing it. And you’ll save time!
    • Speaking of college, if you let yourself learn you will discover something amazing: your brain!
    • You’ll meet adult professionals who actually give good advice and are interested in your skills.
  4. Your responsibilities change
    • Speaking of money, you’ll have more than you do now, almost no matter what you end up doing.
    • When you start paying attention to the news, you’ll find people worse off than you. Maybe you can help them!
    • When you start paying attention to the news, you’ll find people stupider than you have ever been.
  5. Your adulthood looms
    • Every day, you figure out something new you don’t want to do with your life. And this goes on ALL your life.
    • You’ll try alcohol, maybe beer – and you’ll be the one who decides whether you like it or not.
    • You’ll try religion, maybe Christianity – and you’ll be the one who decides what’s right and what’s wrong in your world.
    • You’ll look for love, and you’ll FIND IT. You’ll look for friendship, and you’ll FIND IT. You’ll look for respect, and you’ll FIND IT. You’ll look for something to eat after midnight, and… well, that you probably won’t find. Some things just don’t get better. <sigh>

When you find it’s gotten better, tell me and I’ll celebrate with you!

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~ by Ron Graham on June 20, 2011.

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